


Cooking with Bird Mom

by Ryodin01



Series: Of Hackers and Gamers [2]
Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Bird mom, Cooking, Cooking Lessons, Even background Mercy is scary, F/F, No more take-out
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-12
Updated: 2016-12-12
Packaged: 2018-09-08 03:31:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,213
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8828692
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ryodin01/pseuds/Ryodin01
Summary: Hana and Sombra have been surviving on take-out. Their kindly neighborhood Bird Mom, Pharah, decides to help them learn to cook. Mostly to avoid a Mercy lecture.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I found it hard describing how to cook. I can't really remember a time I didn't know how anymore.
> 
> Again foreign language stuff comes from google translate. Sorry if it's wrong.

“AH! _Apagarlo! Apagarlo!_ ” Sombra yelled as fire spit out of the pot.

Hana immediately turns off the stove and puts a lid on the pot.

“Okay maybe this won’t be as easy win.”

“I think I saw my life flash before my eyes. _Y fue genial.”_

Our favorite gremlin and hacker decided to learn how to cook. As bottomless as Hana’s take out budget is, it would be nice to have a homecooked meal occasionally. Also, Mercy is right across the street and always read to lecture them about proper eating habits.

“How about we try a different recipe?” Hana looks through a cook book, ironically titled _Cooking for N00bs._ “How about curry? We should be able to do curry.”

“Alright. But, if there is any cutting needed, you’re doing it. My fingers are far too valuable.”

Before Hana could argue, the doorbell rings.

“I’ll get it” Sombra says as she teleports to the living room.

“You have to teach me how to do that!” Hana yells from the kitchen.

At door is Pharah holding a bowl of what can only be leftovers.

“Greetings” she says as Sombra moves aside to let her in. “I made some chili today and figured I’d bring some over and check up on you guys.” She sits the chili on the coffee table.

“ _Gracias a Dios!_ That’s going to save us a lot of trouble.”

“What do you mean?” No sooner than Pharah said this, the fire alarm goes off in the kitchen.

“SOMBRA! THE RICE IS ON FIRE!”

 

 

“Did neither of you consider cooking when you moved in together?” Pharah asks as she checks Hana for burns.

“We had… other things on our minds” Sombra replies. Too busy enjoying a bowl chili to go into specifics.

“We’ve been doing fine without knowing” Hana immediately grabs her bowl as soon as Pharah is done. “It’s not like we can’t always order out when we need to.”

“Whether I agree or not, Angela is definitely not going to be happy when she hears this.”

“It’s not like we have to we have tell _el ángel._ ”

Hana moves from her seat next to Pharah and sits on Sombra’s lap. “Yea! Besides it’s not like mom remembers to eat most of the time.”

“ _Estoy tratando de comer aquí!_ ”

“받아 들여”

Pharah rubs her temples to avoid a coming headache. “And when she finds out and realizes I didn’t tell her?”

“You’ll be fine.”

“Yea. She can’t stay mad at you.”

“I can handle her being mad. It was what she does when she’s mad I can’t deal with.”

Sombra puts her chili down, unable to eat with Hana on her lap. “Well then, how you teach us then? You’re obviously the best cook out of everybody in the room.”

“Oh! Can I stream it? The fans would love it!”

Pharah ponders the suggestion. She has never really taught anyone how to cook before. But, the only alternative is either they end up burning down the house or facing an angry wife.

“Fine. Starting tomorrow, I’ll teach you two everything I know about cooking.”

 

 

The next day comes and Hana is busy setting up her laptop and webcam in the kitchen to stream the oncoming lesson.

“What do you think is a better? In The Kitchen with D.Va or D.Va’s Cooking Classic?”

“I think D.Va’s Kitchen Apocalypse fits more after yesterday.” Sombra says. Kissing Hana’s cheek as she passes by to prep a list of things Pharah gave her.

“Yesterday was yesterday. If there’s one thing I don’t do it’s fail at the same thing twice.” Hana claims proudly.

Sombra chuckles. She could honestly listen to her bluster all day. Unfortunately, the doorbell cuts their moment short. Without wasting a beat, Sombra teleports to the living room to let Pharah in.

“Ready to get cooking?’ Pharah asks on her way in.

“Ready when you are _Mamá pájaro.”_

“Hey guys!” Hana exclaims in full on D.Va mode as she starts her stream. “Instead of bodying noobs, today one of my bird moms is going to teach me and Sombra how to cook spaghetti.”

She moves out of the way of the webcam so the fans can see Sombra and Pharah.

“ _Hola mi público adorador.”_

Pharah just waves. “Can we get started now?”

“All right! Time for me to add cooking to the list of things I’m awesome at!”

“I’ll have the fire extinguisher on standby.” Sombra tease her girlfriend.

“D.Va, you can start by chopping up the onions. Sombra lets your water ready for the pasta.”

Filling the one their pots almost to top with water, they set it on the stove to let it boil. While doing this, Sombra hears some sniffling from behind.

“Hana, you okay over there?”

“Y-yeah. These onions are… Just being scrubs.”

Sombra turns around and sees a sight she thought she’d never see. “ _¡Dios mío!_ Are you crying?”

Hana tries to wipe the tears on her sleeve. “No! I-I’m just… sweating from eyes.”

The entire chat starts poking fun of her.

“You guys suck! These onions are not making me cry!” She tries to wipe eyes to stop them from stinging. She then hears a camera shutter from behind her. She turned to find Sombra taking pictures.

“You didn’t.”

“Looks like I have a new wallpaper.” Sombra leans over to Pharah who has been holding back a laugh. “I’ll send it to you later.”

 

With everything done teasing Hana, who has sworn to never cut onions again, they resume cooking dinner. The fans on the stream typing out various bits of advice or asking various questions about the house.

“Yes. Me and Sombra share a room.” Hana replied to one question.

“Wait till I tell you guys how she talks in her sleep.”

“I do not!”

“She has such sweet dreams about me” Sombra wraps her arms around Hana’s waist.

Pharah interrupts their little love fest. “Can we focus on the finishing the food here?”

Sombra points excitedly to a comment in the chat. “Someone wants to know if you can make a “Cooking Bird Mom” shirt.”

“YES! I need to call my t-shirt guy later!”

 

 

An hour or so later, the spaghetti is ready and the stream ends. Both being a success.

“오 하나님 This is so good” Hana exclaims as takes her first bite.

“I can hardly believe we helped make it. _Tan delicioso”_

Pharah sits in the arm chair with a bowl of spaghetti to take home. “See. That wasn’t that hard.”

“If it means eating food like this every day, I’m game to keep learning.”

“All you did was chop the onions and cry _niña.”_

Hana elbows Sombra in the side. “I was not crying!”

Pharah chuckles as she gets up and grabs her bowl. “Alright. I’m going home. Angela should be back from her mission soon.”

Hana and Sombra wave at her as she leaves.

“Next lesson in a few days.” With that Pharah returns home.

Hana, having finished her plate, lays her head across Sombra’s lap. “Today was awesome.”

“ _Estoy de acuerdo”_ Sombra agrees as she begins stroking Hana’s head.

“Hey. You’re going delete that picture, right?”

“Anything for you _mi conejita._ ” Come morning, Hana finds out that Sombra sent it to everyone in Overwatch.

 

 


End file.
